In the Fall of 2014 I started university for the first time in my life. My first year I did prerequisite courses for computer science. My second year at university was my first year of computer science. My third year of university, Fall 2016, is when I transitioned from computer science to political science. This Winter semester of 2018 was my third semester of political science. I only lasted a few classes. It’s unfortunate that so much time and money was spent only to finally accept that university was not the place for me. I had doubts from the beginning but continued nonetheless only to find myself becoming less and less fulfilled and feeling out of place. I entered university to get out of the call center industry which I had been a part of for several years. At the very last call center I worked at I became very depressed, to the point of not wanted to get out of bed and was constantly on the verge of tears in my daily life. I could not function. I couldn’t stand it any longer and decided to go into school to escape it. I picked computer science because it is a promising and popular field. I had an interest in web design growing up and thought I would also be into other aspects of this field. I was not. I realized once inside that this was not the field for me. I am not overall interested in computers, I love to use them but that is where the love ends. I don’t give two shits about the latest technologies and gadgets. I am a person who even though is aware and very appreciative that technology provides me with a life of comfort and luxury, believes that we are happier with less technology, specifically social media, and when we area connected to the real world. My personal philosophy of the importance of of being in nature and connected to it was conflicted when I was in Computer Science. Now I am not saying that everyone in the Computer Science world is an out-of-touch robot, without a doubt there are individuals that share my beliefs and still rock at what they do in that field but it simply did not work for me. It did not feel right.
While in computer science I took an intro to political science class as an elective and was totally more interested in this subject. I still feel political science is the field I would have most interest in for a bachelors degree but the thing is I don’t think I am interested in getting a job that would be available with a political science degree.
Part of my change of heart is also due to my change of work once I was university. I switched from call centers to labor. I started with a Summer job doing landscaping and then to being a maid which I am to this day. I enjoy this work very much and both experiences have had a very positive impact on me. I’d rather being doing something with my hands, something physical, and something creative than be working at a desk all day.
I do feel bad for the money spent on my education thus far by my father and I have accumulated a student loan debt. However through university I did meet my boyfriend, which I will forever be grateful for. He has changed my life and that is the silver lining of my stressful and confusing university experience.
For now I will continue with my job as maid and focus on improving my mental and physical health.