The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz based on ancient Toltec wisdom.
Be Impeccable With Your Word
☼ Speak with integrity.
☼ Say only what you mean.
☼ Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
☼ Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
☼ Nothing others do is because of you.
☼ What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
☼ When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t Make Assumptions
☼ Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
☼ Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
☼ With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
☼ Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
☼ Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
This was a quick and influential read. I used to not talk shit about others until recently and it has been towards/about a couple of people. For the most part in my life I have avoided serious drama. I am going to try harder to not talk shit anymore and not participate in emotional theatrics nearby and go back to how I used to be. I used to believe that even if I did not like a person that it would not be right to attack their appearance or just attack them in general. I’m going to work on that.
I must work on not using the word against others but I also have to work on not using the word against myself too. I need to stop saying and thinking to myself that I suck, that I am fucking stupid, that I am ugly, that I ruin everything, that I have no purpose in life, that I barely exist… Even if any of these statements are true I should not say them to myself. By saying these things I am limiting myself. I am not even giving myself a chance to be anything or anybody by just immediately drawing the conclusion that I will fail and am a failure. “Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” So instead of saying and thinking negative statements I have to try and say and think positive, even if I don’t fully believe in them so that someday I will and I will at least feel good enough to be comfortable in my skin and enjoy life.
Don’t take anything personally. That is a big one for me. I find myself feeling upset very often. This is one of the big reasons for my recent decision to make these changes to my life. I am literally tire and sick of feeling down. Because I feel shitty I do not do anything, not even eat properly, and because I am not doing anything I am feeling shitty. It is a cycle. I want to escape it and this week I feel I did a good job in starting to change my mentality. It’s only the end of week 1 but I still feel optimistic. Without a doubt there will continue to be many moments as I experienced every day this week where I am going to feel anxious, mad, upset, or sad but I will continue working on overcoming these feelings and turning myself around. I was able to do it this week pretty well. …Seriously though, every day this week at least once I starting feeling bad and angry about past events but I got through them. This will take time.
Don’t make assumptions. This is another one that Anna needs to improve on a lot. I want to avoid conflict so I will make assumptions in order not to engage any further but these assumptions end up bringing me conflict which I wanted to avoid in the first place. Verbal communication skills are not my forte.
This change will be an ongoing process but I look forward to the prosperous results and lifestyle.