Thankful

I am thankful for the roof over my head. I scored a very cute apartment in downtown Montreal for a good price.

I am thankful for the food in my stomach and in my fridge.

I am thankful for the friends and family that I do have relationships with.

I am thankful to have Bebe in my life. A very gentle, appreciative, and kind soul.

Also,

I am thankful for getting a taste of the dark side of human nature during the last 3 years of my life. Thankful for the lessons.

♡🐾 Bebe 🐾♡

 

A few weeks ago I adopted Bebe. Her original name was Sybelle but this did not come naturally to me. When I saw the ad I thought of Mimi but when I met her and began to speak to her Bebe (“Bee bee”) just came out. I looked it up later and learned that the name Bebe means “She who brings happiness.” So that worked out very well because that is exactly what she has done for me.

I was unsure about getting another cat, I don’t know where I am going with my life so I was thinking that having a cat may not be the best decision for me at this time… Despite the uncertainty I did look on Kijiji for adult cats to be re-homed… then I started looking specifically at Persian cats since I both love that breed AND my apartment is a small one bedroom and I felt an adult Persian would be the best match for this environment. A cat or kitten with a lot of energy would not enjoy this space.

I was starting to lean more on the “No” side and looking less… then I saw the ad for Bebe. I smiled instantly when I saw her. I responded the Kijiji ad and went to sleep, still with doubts of having a cat. I dreamt of her that night, just I had dreamt of this apartment when I had initially decided not to take it. It was the dream of having this apartment that made me go for it and now it was my dream of Bebe and I in this apartment that made me feel I was on the right path and that she was mine.

No one responded to the Kijiji ad but I saw that it was posted by a shelter so I found their Facebook page and messaged them. They said that another woman had already expressed interest in Bebe and that they were waiting to hear back from her. I waited a few weeks and in the end the woman did not answer so they contacted me and made the arrangements to bring her to me. I was so excited and nervous that night as I waited for Bebe’s arrival. When she came out of the carrier I was delighted by her little self. She looked a bit bigger in the picture. She is actually a petite little lady. She explored a bit while the shelter lady was here and ended up hiding under my dresser. After the lady left I laid on the floor beside the dresser and spoke to her. After a couple minutes she came out with her tail up.

It is a bit less than a month later now that I have had her and I love her. She is 6 years old and is a friendly little lady. She loves the petted and brushed. She will sometimes wait in the bathroom while I shower. She follows me around and stares at me, if she is not sitting or laying beside me. She sleeps with me every night and usually right by my head! She also has her playful side which enjoys my homemade crumpled aluminum foil balls!

She is an Exotic aka the Short-hair Persian, a mix between Persian and American Shorthair. The shelter lady is supposed to come back at some point for a follow up and for me to sign the contract. She will explain more of Bebe’s history to me then. All I know of her at this point is that she has been in several homes due to her leaky eyes. Her eyes, and sometimes nose, need to be cleaned multiple times a day due to her brachycephalic head/flat face.  Learning more about Persians and the Exotic specifically makes me even more of a fan! Such a sweet and loyal breed. Not many are up for adoption so I feel very lucky to have found her.

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Bebe with my favorite “plush” growing up; Snowy the white blue eyed Persian. A “kitty kitty kitten” toy.

🌒

I’ve been lying on my balcony for the past couple of hours. I made myself a little bed up here and I have been looking around and thinking. This is my third apartment with a balcony in a row, yet despite only being here for a month now I have appreciated this balcony most of all. It is my first time back out here in a couple of days. I had food poisoning and was not able to move much in that time. I am much better now. Now it is just to get back into eating without upsetting my recovering stomach. So far so good.

…Fall is gorgeous and I love it too but my favorite time of the year is summer evenings. The temperature is just right at that time and I am enjoying it here on my balcony.

White Moth

Rest in peace beautiful one. ••♡•♡•♡••

I looked up the symbolism of white moths and for a lot of cultures a white moth means death of a loved one, they also can represent souls, some believe them to be souls that are living, some believe dead, other believe them to be unrested souls saying their final goodbye. However, the symbolism of death and the moth seem to be if one flys into your house or is at the very least alive. This one was not. So I decided to look further into it.

Death in general means transitions. Change, progression, and phases. The place, time and weather when you come across a dead animal can impact its meaning as well. I found her in a flower pot with living plants on my balcony today. Sunny with a bit of rain. I felt good when I saw her, I felt like I found a treasure or a gift.

Moths in general can mean determination, fragility, clairvoyance, and psychic abilities.

Also, to keep in mind, white in general is the color to represent purity and as well as everything (all colors of light add up to white). And the damaged wing would play a role in its meaning as well.

It is also a nocturnal creature. This can be about moving forward by the use of other senses and other means than by going based on what I see directly. Going about in the darkness and letting my intuition guide me…

When interpreting the meaning of this dead animal I have to reflect on what is going on in my life to understand its message… I won’t share the details of what I believe this message to mean exactly, but I will say that for me it is a message of change and renewal overall. I see it as positive.

I don’t think I would have seen it as a symbol if I had seen it at another time but today I felt it was and was curious to investigate. Looking into what it meant and what is actually going on for me now makes me believe that it is a message for me, a good one.
♡♡♡

Caffeine and Anxiety

Caffeine is a psychoactive drug.

Psychoactive drugs affect the way a person thinks and feels—which may also affect the way they behave. The most commonly used legal psychoactive drugs, apart from drugs taken on prescription, are alcohol and tobacco. The most commonly used illegal psychoactive drug is cannabis (marijuana).

Some drugs fall into more than one category. For example, cannabis is both a depressant and hallucinogen, while ecstasy is a stimulant and hallucinogen.

Source: https://druginfo.sl.nsw.gov.au/drugs-what-are-drugs/psychoactive-drugs

Mid March I stopped consuming coffee. I felt it was increasing my anxiety. I still drink tea sometimes but it does not seem to affect on me as coffee did. I actually was not a coffee drinker until I moved to Montreal. So I have only been drinking in for about 6 years. Overall, I am not a super anxious person but caffeine made me into one. While preparing for exams or doing assignments for school I would drink A LOT of it to stay awake and focused and the consequence would be anxiety, stress, and irritability.  I do still crave it from time to time, but I am quite happy to go without!

For those who rely on caffeine for the boost here are ways to increase energy in other ways:

  1. Vitamin B12 and Ginseng are natural energy boosters (check with your doctor first to make sure these are right for you before using though).
  2. Ensure you are getting enough sleep. If your sleeping habits are decent and you are generally healthy, you likely don’t need caffeine for energy (here’s an article on Good Sleep Habits).
  3. Exercise can feel super tiring and exhausting if you’re just starting out, but once you get into a routine, exercise will actually give you MORE energy!
  4. Eat healthy. Cut out the junk and sugar that might be making you sluggish in the first place and replace these with healthy foods like lots of fruits and veggies (check out Dietitians of Canada for info on healthy eating).
  5. Water. Believe it or not, drinking water first thing in the morning (and throughout the day too) is a great energy booster. Your body wants it and needs it. And it’s really the healthiest drink for you (WebMD gives you 6 reasons to drink water).
  6. If you must have caffeine, maybe try limiting your intake. Instead of 3 coffees a day, have 1. Or instead of coffee, have tea.

Source: https://mindyourmind.ca/blog/caffeine-and-anxiety-are-not-friends

Overall, I sleep very well. I have been exercising more, taking multivitamins and drinking much more water. There is still a lot of room for improvement here, I consume too much sugar and don’t exercise as often as I should. but I am on the right track. I want to try Ginseng too!

Here is a list put out by a coffee company on why coffee can make you anxious.

  1. Caffeine increases stress hormones.

Most people with anxiety would agree that they have a lot of weight on their shoulders. Caffeine adds to the burden. Similar to stress, caffeine increases heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of stress hormones. Caffeine -consumption can more than double your blood levels of the stress hormones cortisol and epinephrine.

  1. Caffeine affects neurotransmitter balance.

Caffeine often gives us a desirable feeling- increased motivation, productivity, and brain power. This is a result of increasing brain chemicals dopamine and acetylcholine. However, caffeine hinders the calming neurotransmitter GABA, which puts the brain activity on hold when needed. GABA is married to happiness and relaxation, so it’s no surprise that having a low GABA level can lead to anxiety and panic attacks.

  1. Caffeine causes insomnia.

If your mind is stuck in a never-ending marathon at night time, caffeine can contribute to this problem. Caffeine-induced sleep disorder is actually a recognized psychiatric disorder. Getting good sleep is essential to our brains since this is when metabolic debris and toxins are washed away and repaired into new brain cells. It’s important to keep in mind that any caffeine you consume, even 6 hours prior to bedtime can significantly disrupt your sleep.

  1. Caffeine is linked to psychiatric disorders.

Enough caffeine can create symptoms of anxiety in a healthy person that are indistinguishable from those experienced by anxiety disorder sufferers. Caffeine has also been linked to mental disorders including anxiety, panic and depression, as well as sleep and eating disorders. Fact: In 1987, it was recommended that decaffeinated beverages should be provided in psychiatric wards. Taking schizophrenic patients off caffeine has actually been proven to help their anxiety, irritability, and hostility.

  1. Caffeine can increase anxiety when taken with many medications.

Caffeine is often consumed out of habit, making it an immense part of our daily life. That being said, it sometimes slips our mind that it’s a psychoactive drug and therefore, doesn’t mix well with other drugs. Check out drugs.com for a list of over 80 medications that should not be taken alongside caffeine. It is often added to over-the-counter drugs such as painkillers to make them more effective, however, consequently increases the number of side effects in asthma medications, antidepressants, and some antibiotics. 

Source: https://www.deathwishcoffee.com/blogs/news/caffeine-and-anxiety

I am not trying to scare anyone here. However, being the most consumed psychoactive drug, it is important to know about it and it’s affect on your health!

xxxx