A Week Without Facebook

I just ended a break from Facebook for a week. This is one of many many breaks I’ve taken from it. Now that it is back on my phone I am trying not to use it. I browsed it twice today. I’m thinking of deactivating it again but keeping messenger, not even sure if I’ll do that though. Anyone who I do speak to on a regular basis knows how to get in touch with me. Life without Facebook is pretty nice. I recommend you try it out at least once to see the difference and gain a better understanding of the role of social media in your daily routine. I especially recommend deactivating to those who haven’t done it before. Facebook has been around for over a decade now, and a lot of us have had it for most of that time. Are you someone who has had it consistently during that time? For years? If so you should try going without it for a week. If the only thing that is holding you back is to be able to message people please know that you can deactivate Facebook yet continue using messenger. Instructions here.

My best friend hasn’t been on Facebook for years… what a brave gal! My boyfriend recently decided to stop using Facebook and is enjoying life without it. He reads a lot these days. I have done it before for a few months; I lived in an apartment with no internet for a couple of seasons. I really enjoyed that time. Without internet, (only had basic mobile data on an old phone and didn’t use it much) I felt freer. I read and socialized more during that time and was more relaxed and happier.

I appreciate social media but like anything else if it is used excessively it is bad for you. It is still being researched on whether or not there is a link and/or relationship between mental health and social media. I can tell you from personal experience that this link does exist for me. If you are one of those people who can have social media but don’t have the urge to check it constantly and use it in moderation you’re probably fine. But if you are like me and check frequently during the day then it will most likely become a problem if it isn’t already. Looking at pretty pictures of things and people can lead me to feeling incompetent. It’s a strange thing to do when I think about it. Looking at other peoples lives on a tiny screen instead of doing much with mine. How sad. I pretty much only use Facebook and Instagram but have spent a significant amount of time on these platforms.

As I have mentioned before I am trying to make changes. Last night was the first time in two weeks that I did not write in my journal. I better write in it tonight. At least I am writing here. I have been reading every day, but some days I read for less than an hour. Overall though I am happy with my very little progress so far. I do expect the complete transformation into a happier human to take a few years. It’s only been a couple of weeks but I am still optimistic.

xxx

 

The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz based on ancient Toltec wisdom.

Be Impeccable With Your Word

☼ Speak with integrity. 
☼ Say only what you mean.
☼ Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
☼ Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

 

Don’t Take Anything Personally

☼ Nothing others do is because of you.
☼ What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
☼ When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

 

Don’t Make Assumptions

☼ Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
☼ Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
☼ With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

 

Always Do Your Best

☼ Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
☼ Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

 


This was a quick and influential read. I used to not talk shit about others until recently and it has been towards/about a couple of people. For the most part in my life I have avoided serious drama. I am going to try harder to not talk shit anymore and not participate in emotional theatrics nearby and go back to how I used to be. I used to believe that even if I did not like a person that it would not be right to attack their appearance or just attack them in general. I’m going to work on that.

I must work on not using the word against others but I also have to work on not using the word against myself too. I need to stop saying and thinking to myself that I suck, that I am fucking stupid, that I am ugly, that I ruin everything, that I have no purpose in life, that I barely exist… Even if any of these statements are true I should not say them to myself. By saying these things I am limiting myself. I am not even giving myself a chance to be anything or anybody by just immediately drawing the conclusion that I will fail and am a failure. “Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” So instead of saying and thinking negative statements I have to try and say and think positive, even if I don’t fully believe in them so that someday I will and I will at least feel good enough to be comfortable in my skin and enjoy life.

Don’t take anything personally. That is a big one for me. I find myself feeling upset very often. This is one of the big reasons for my recent decision to make these changes to my life. I am literally tire and sick of feeling down. Because I feel shitty I do not do anything, not even eat properly, and because I am not doing anything I am feeling shitty. It is a cycle. I want to escape it and this week I feel I did a good job in starting to change my mentality. It’s only the end of week 1 but I still feel optimistic. Without a doubt there will continue to be many moments as I experienced every day this week where I am going to  feel anxious, mad, upset, or sad but I will continue working on overcoming these feelings and turning myself around. I was able to do it this week pretty well. …Seriously though, every day this week at least once I starting feeling bad and angry about past events but I got through them. This will take time.

Don’t make assumptions. This is another one that Anna needs to improve on a lot. I want to avoid conflict so I will make assumptions in order not to engage any further but these assumptions end up bringing me conflict which I wanted to avoid in the first place. Verbal communication skills are not my forte.

This change will be an ongoing process but I look forward to the prosperous results and lifestyle.

xxx

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Learning

There’s a cure for aging that no one talks about. It’s called learning. In my mind, as long as you learn something new each day, stretch your personal frontiers and improve the way you think, you cannot grow old. Aging only happens to people who lose their lust for getting better and disconnect from their natural base of curiosity. – Robin Sharma

Another goal to add to my new schedule. So not only do I have to read and write everyday I have to make sure I learn something new as well. All these tasks go together though so it will work out.

I love to learn, I really do. One thing that is a bit pressing that I need to work on is learning Russian. This without a doubt will take years but that actually is something I should work on daily too. There is a chapter in Robin Sharma’s Greatness Guide where it talks about making a list of things you want to do before you die. That definitely would be beneficial to me to write out as well.

I have only one job today and after that I will go to the library to return a book then I plan to visit Arsenal

I live in the big and beautiful city of Montreal that has endless places to visit and activities so I need to explore it more often. Exploring, being outdoors, and visiting new places make me really happy and I need to do them. Robin Sharma also talks about enjoy the simple pleasures in life and those pleasures are truly what makes me the happiest. Time to stop starving myself and staying indoors feeling like I do not belong have no purpose in life. It’s time to go out and start living.

xxx

 

Collection of selfies from 2017

Just collected all my favorite selfies from last year. Kind of a lot but oh well. I had gained 10 pounds earlier in the year and it boosted my self-esteem and I dressed up a bit more. Unfortunately I have lost the weight I gained and a little bit more. Posting these for self-love, appreciation and motivation purposes. Enjoy xox

 

 

 

This is my 5th blog post in one night. Time for bed now. I am super stoked and optimistic about the future and the new changes I will be slowly making and tonight I was definitely stoked on having a brand new blog. Let’s see if I keep this up!

Blondie

So I am a natural ash blonde but I’ve been trying to be a lighter blonde for several months now and I was having a hard time getting the color I wanted. I went to a hair dresser last week for the first time in a decade and am happy with the result. My end goal is to have white hair but that will take time. My choice for a white blonde is a compromise between my boyfriend and I. He is not a fan of the wild colors which I’ve been rocking for years but I am not down for going 100% natural either. So with a very light blonde I am still natural in a way but also wild. That is how I see it. I need a hair color that is striking and bold, that is just part of me and what I like. I’ve also had short hair for a very long time too and of course he wants me to grow it out… I will try but not making any promises!

University

In the Fall of 2014 I started university for the first time in my life. My first year I did prerequisite courses for computer science. My second year at university was my first year of computer science. My third year of university, Fall 2016, is when I transitioned from computer science to political science. This Winter semester of 2018 was my third semester of political science. I only lasted a few classes. It’s unfortunate that so much time and money was spent only to finally accept that university was not the place for me. I had doubts from the beginning but continued nonetheless only to find myself becoming less and less fulfilled and feeling out of place. I entered university to get out of the call center industry which I had been a part of for several years. At the very last call center I worked at I became very depressed, to the point of not wanted to get out of bed and was constantly on the verge of tears in my daily life. I could not function. I couldn’t stand it any longer and decided to go into school to escape it. I picked computer science because it is a promising and popular field. I had an interest in web design growing up and thought I would also be into other aspects of this field. I was not. I realized once inside that this was not the field for me. I am not overall interested in computers, I love to use them but that is where the love ends. I don’t give two shits about the latest technologies and gadgets. I am a person who even though is aware and very appreciative that technology provides me with a life of comfort and luxury, believes that we are happier with less technology, specifically social media, and when we area connected to the real world. My personal philosophy of the importance of of being in nature and connected to it was conflicted when I was in Computer Science. Now I am not saying that everyone in the Computer Science world is an out-of-touch robot, without a doubt there are individuals that share my beliefs and still rock at what they do in that field but it simply did not work for me. It did not feel right.

While in computer science I took an intro to political science class as an elective and was totally more interested in this subject. I still feel political science is the field I would have most interest in for a bachelors degree but the thing is I don’t think I am interested in getting a job that would be available with a political science degree.

Part of my change of heart is also due to my change of work once I was university. I switched from call centers to labor. I started with a Summer job doing landscaping and then to being a maid which I am to this day. I enjoy this work very much and both experiences have had a very positive impact on me. I’d rather being doing something with my hands, something physical, and something creative than be working at a desk all day.

I do feel bad for the money spent on my education thus far by my father and I have accumulated a student loan debt. However through university I did meet my boyfriend, which I will forever be grateful for. He has changed my life and that is the silver lining of my stressful and confusing university experience.

For now I will continue with my job as maid and focus on improving my mental and physical health.

xxx

Windows of Opportunity

Each day, life will send you little windows of opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity. Shrink from them and your life will be small. Feel the fear and run to them anyway, and your life will be big. – Robin Sharma, The Greatness Guide

My life thus far has been quite limited. It has overall been rather boring, with the exception of time spent with my boyfriend. I don’t exit my comfort zone very often and I’ve been dealing with the bad habit of staying inside, not eating, thinking negative things over and over again and simply not being healthy and productive. My health and overall well-being has slowly been deteriorating over the years and I have reached the point where I’ve had enough.

We had a very cold winter this year and the weather is finally getting warmer. I wanted to go out for a walk and take pictures today but I was too sick to do so. I have to go out for more walks and spend more time with nature instead of allowing myself to be consumed indoors watching videos and being consumed by social media. Not only do I not pursue the the windows of opportunity that life presents to me, the amount of opportunities have been small since I don’t stray far from home.

I am a Sagittarius; I crave adventure. It is time for more adventures.