I see the word narcissist thrown around a lot on the internet. When I read the stories of others about their narcissist experience it seems to me that some are instead dealing with a sociopath. Both are cluster b personality disorders. Sociopaths are anti-social personality disorder and narcissists are narcissistic personality disorder.
While both narcissistic and sociopathic people behave similarly (ex: highly manipulative and lack empathy) there are a few distinctions. The main distinction being that the sociopath is aware that they are different from other people whereas the narcissist is not. The sociopath knows that they are capable of doing things to others to benefit themselves without feeling any remorse. The narcissist on the other hand, does feel bad about hurting others (and can’t seem to help repeating bad behavior despite knowing it would hurt someone else) but they usually express their guilt by taking it out on you or projecting their mistakes onto you. The narcissist is troubled by their behavior deep down but they deal with the guilt in an abusive manner. The narcissist feels shame while the sociopath does not. Also, while a narcissist is unable to love a person as a non-narcissistic can they can still feel something, the sociopath is unable to feel love at all.
So in a nutshell, if you are dealing with someone who appears to derive some pleasure and/or entertainment from abusing you it is likely a sociopath and not a narcissist. The narcissist can feel badly and also to some degree feel love for another but the sociopath does not. I know it can be hard to tell from being overwhelmed from everything going on, manipulation is hard to deal with, but I feel it is important to know the difference. Also, there are individuals out there that have narcissistic tendencies but do not have the disorder. These are actual disorders (very serious ones) and I don’t think the words should be tossed around!
If you have/are experiencing being bullied; the first and more important thing to recognize is that it is not your fault.
They are taking out their issues out on you. Maybe they too were bullied and/or abused in some way. Some people cope with stress in a negative way and hurt others as a result. It could be a coping method for whatever it is they are going through/have been through. Maybe they are angry and insecure. They could also possibly be jealous.
Most of the time bullying is done to have power and control over someone else. They will target something specific about you to create or worsen your existing insecurities.
They are most likely people of low self esteem and use bullying as a way of deflecting, and many times and more specifically; projeting their flaws onto someone else. There is a good chance that whatever they are pointing out that is wrong with you is something they are insecure about with themselves. They are not happy people.
Bullying is never okay but understanding why it is being done can help tremendously in the healing process. ♡
Why Do People Bully? The Scientific Reasons
*Updated April 18th; Video added at the end of the post, Enjoy.*
Bad experiences are not an excuse to become a bad person.
We are a product of the choices we make, not the circumstances that we face. – Roger Crawford
When you are born into and/or face unfortunate and difficult circumstances in your life you have two choices on how you can deal with these experiences:
First, you can allow these experiences to consume you and to hold you back. You cause harm to yourself and to others. You allow anything difficult and painful that happened to you turn you into a unfavorable person. A person unable to take action, make changes and take responsibility. You become toxic.
Or, you can use these obstacles as stepping stones to become someone great, to rise above them and to not let them hold you back. You acknowledge what happened, break the chain and move on. You seek help when needed and perhaps even take the extra step to help others who faced the same challenges as you. You become strong.
The road is tougher when you are faced with obstacles and perhaps in some cases it is a bit more limited. However those who face the toughest battles are still capable of being the best they can be. These are people we admire.
Your circumstances set the stage but your choices determine the show.