Stop blaming others.

Want to feel better? Then make it happen. Sitting around complaining and blaming others will only make you feel worse. And if it somehow makes you feel better, know that any pleasure gained from placing blame elsewhere is temporary and is not productive.

Even if your negative emotions/reaction to another’s negative behavior is justified YOU must make the choice to not let that negativity stay within you. It will slowly destroy you.

Own up to the responsibility of taking care of yourself. It won’t be easy but anything of any value to growth will never be easy. That is just how it works. That is why we tend to blame too…because it is easy. Well guess what, the easy way is usually the wrong way!

You can do it, take up the challenge and go the right way… start growing! ♡

Why Do People Bully

If you have/are experiencing being bullied; the first and more important thing to recognize is that it is not your fault.

They are taking out their issues out on you. Maybe they too were bullied and/or abused in some way. Some people cope with stress in a negative way and hurt others as a result. It could be a coping method for whatever it is they are going through/have been through. Maybe they are angry and insecure. They could also possibly be jealous.

Most of the time bullying is done to have power and control over someone else. They will target something specific about you to create or worsen your existing insecurities.

They are most likely people of low self esteem and use bullying as a way of deflecting, and many times and more specifically; projeting their flaws onto someone else. There is a good chance that whatever they are pointing out that is wrong with you is something they are insecure about with themselves. They are not happy people.

Bullying is never okay but understanding why it is being done can help tremendously in the healing process. ♡

Sources:

https://www.dove.com/ca/en/dove-self-esteem-project/help-for-parents/teasing-and-bullying/why-do-bullies-bully.html?&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_r3nBRDxARIsAJljleEKf3RE7uvPM-Dftelji4wlGTdxxtoHWPlL8mmRQ0LCQ7Rgdb45mSMaAplUEALw_wcB

Why Do People Bully? The Scientific Reasons

Snapchat & Self-Esteem

I’ve been wanting to write about this subject for a while now. It amazes me how much Snapchat filters alter your face. For anyone reading who isn’t familiar with what I am talking about have a look: The first image is without filter.

Here are a few more examples:

Bigger eyes, enhanced eye color, clearer skin, longer lashes, fuller lips, thinner face, thinner and straighter nose, cheekbones, etc. You get the idea.

Most of us know at least one person who only takes selfies with Snapchat. I know a few.

I remember when I first checked it out earlier this year after seeing more and more people using it and I was shocked. I couldn’t believe how dramatic some of the filters were and immediately understood why there are some individuals who only use this app. Also, Snapchat changes the filters on a regular basis and there have been some in the past that changed your face more dramatically than the ones I used here tonight.

Despite my own issues with self-esteem and insecurities I was not able to hop onto this bandwagon. I am glad I didn’t. It was just too fake for me, I wouldn’t be comfortable posting these pictures online as myself when it actually isn’t me. During my lowest times I simply just didn’t take pictures of myself. Some people don’t do that though, they do the complete opposite. I understand it though; it is an addiction.

I am reading about Snapchat and self-esteem right now. I am learning that people are actually getting cosmetic surgery done in order to look more like their filtered selfies. Apparently “55% of facial plastic surgeons in 2017 saw patients who wanted surgery to help them look better in selfies.”

In general, I am not opposed to plastic surgery to boost self-esteem. Particularly, if it’s something that has bothered the person for all of their life like large noses, birth marks, scars, bad skin, etc. What makes me uneasy though is the filters role in increasing self-esteem issues. Also, children and teenagers use these apps too. Young impressionable minds that already have issues finding and accepting themselves…

This article points out how people are no longer just comparing themselves to celebrities, they are comparing themselves…to their filtered selves. And of course we have always, in general, compared ourselves to each other. However, it’s unfair to you to compare yourself with another person’s or your own enhanced photo. Looking at your enhanced face constantly will, without a doubt, have psychological consequences. You are forcing yourself to look at yourself, yet, it isn’t you. This will affect your brain and self-perception.

People use face-enhancing apps to make themselves feel better, but just like a drug, the pleasure and boost is immediate and short-lived, and the negative consequences can be more long-lasting and damaging.

P.S. I never found the animal filters cute. I also find it silly to pose “sexy” with the pout and yet have a big dog nose and ears. When I see people like this I don’t take them seriously. Maybe I am just a cranky old lady though? I am old fashioned in some ways…

Here are two more filtered photos I had taken earlier this year when I was originally going to write on this subject… Look how cute I am! 😉

Goodnight

xxx

Other reads:

Snapchat Was Ruining My Self-Esteem

The Unexpected Reason Snapchat’s ‘Pretty’ Filters Hurt Your Self-Esteem