The past called and told me to tell you to get the fuck over it!!

Something us past dwellers need to read.

Stop complaining about the past and move the fuck on!

Life is short, live in the present and look forward to the future.

Maturing

ma·ture
adjective
  1. having reached an advanced stage of mental or emotional development characteristic of an adult.

Something I became more aware of recently is that age has nothing to do with being mature. I used to equate age with wisdom; the older you are the more wiser you are. This is incorrect. Wisdom is not gained through experience alone. Wisdom is gained with both experience and how you interpret and react to those experiences. And it is how you interpret and react to those experiences that define whether or not you are mature.

Higher age simply means more time. The longer you’ve been around, the longer you’ve had the time to think about how to live your life and conduct yourself. What I have seen recently, is that just because a person has been around longer than I have doesn’t necessarily mean they are more mature. A person can be around decades more than I and still act childish. It’s not about your age, it is about your choices.

You need to first become aware of your behavior and outlook on life, then and only then can you make the CHOICE to improve. Your age doesn’t play a significant role if any at all in this. Making the effort to improve and changing yourself is the process of maturing and once you reach a certain point you enter the realm of wisdom. Maturing, wisdom, and bettering yourself in general are always ongoing processes.

Age >> Maturity >> Wisdom

I looked around the internet for ‘signs of maturity’ and I found this list of 25 Signs of Maturity  I have a lot to work on as far as growing up. Being a mature, classy, stylish, drama-free woman is what I desire to be. I will go through the points and see in which ways I am mature and in which ways I can improve. My personal comments on each point may be of no interest to you but I recommend going through the points and reflecting on your own behavior. 

1. Realizing how much you don’t know.
 ✅ Oh yes, I am very aware of how little I know and that there will never be enough time to learn all that I want to know but I can at least make an effort to learn as much as possible.

2. Listening more and talking less.
✘ 
This is something I used to be good at. I was the person you could count on to listen to you. I have become more annoying in my opinion as far as talking too much sometimes. This applies more to when I am drinking or with my boyfriend. I need to listen more. This is definitely something that I need to work on. 

3. Being aware and considerate of others as opposed to being self-absorbed, self-centered, and inconsiderate.
 Yes I definitely try to pay attention to those around me and their needs especially if they are at my place or I am visiting theirs. Also when out in public I try to pay attention. I can definitely work on being more aware in public though. I do not have any interest in being self-absorbed, self-centered, and inconsiderate. If I were to find out that I do actually have those qualities I would be devastated. I do believe in the importance of taking care of our own needs and self love, but you can do that without being selfish. Putting my needs first is something I do have to work on. I am too passive which can lead to being taken advantage of.

4. Not taking everything personally, getting easily offended, or feeling the need to defend, prove, or make excuses for yourself.
 I take a lot of things personally. I am hard on myself and can take things the wrong way when people say things to me. As for feeling the need to defend, prove, or make excuses for myself… I do try to be conscious enough of myself NOT to do any of those things.  If you have a problem with something in your life, shut up and do something about it to fix it!

5. Being grateful and gracious, not complaining.
 I think I have this one down for the most part. I definitely try not to be a complainer. People who just complain about their problems and complain about others become toxic to themselves and those around them. I can always work on being more grateful and gracious though!

6. Taking responsibility for your own health and happiness, not relying on others to “fix” you or placing blame for your circumstances.
 I am aware that my health is my own responsibility. If someone does something to me and I am stressed out because of it, it is my responsibility to find a way to not be stressed out about it. We are responsible for how we react to what happens to us.

7. Having forgiveness and compassion for yourself and others.
 I have to work on having forgiveness for myself and others. It’s hard for me to forgive sometimes, I do hold grudges and resentment. As for compassion I think I do have this for others, not so much for myself.

8. Being calm and peaceful, not desperate, frantic, or irrational.
✘ I need to work on being more calm and peaceful. I am stressed out and anxious a lot. This is a big one I am working on.

9. Showing flexibility and openness as opposed to resisting, controlling, or being unreasonable.
✅ 
 I think I have this down for the most part. Not controlling and no desire to control another human being. Perhaps I am guilty of resisting from time to time. I do try to be conscious of being reasonable. I do not want to be an unreasonable person. Reason and logic are important to me.

10. Helping yourself, not just expecting others to do it for you out of a sense of entitlement.
 Yes I do help and take care of myself. I do not rely on others to do so for me. In fact I prefer taking care of myself. 

11. Doing good deeds even when there is nothing in it for you other than knowing you helped, being selfless.
 Absolutely! Could always do more good deeds though!

12. Respecting another’s point of view, beliefs, and way of life without judgment, not insisting you are right, belittling another, or using profanity or violence to get your point across.
 I think this is one of the things like the second point above (listen more, talk less) that I used to be good at but no longer am. This point is one that I have been bad at with the boyfriend more than anyone else. No one has pushed my buttons more than this individual haha, BUT, that is no excuse for becoming angry with him and putting him down just because I don’t agree.

13. Sharing your good fortune with others.
Not sure if I am this one or not. I am thinking about fortune, looking at its definition… I don’t really have a fortune to share with others but if I did I’d like to think I would share. I do try to treat my friends and boyfriend when I can.

14. Being able to turn the other cheek without wishing harm on another.
 I am too bothered by other peoples behavior, I do need to work on just focusing on my own life and being the best I can be. Not to be bothered by people whom I feel are truly bad people or people who behave badly.

15. Thinking before acting and having good manners, not going off half-cocked, lashing out, or being rude.
✅ 
This one I have for the most part. Drunk Anna could improve on this though.

16. Encouraging and being supportive of others.
✅ 
I do encourage and support my loved ones.

17. Finding joy in the success of someone else, not envy or criticism.
 This is a big one for me. Envy was and perhaps is still my biggest sin. Lately I have been much more grateful though for what I do have and not so much concerned with those that are more successful than me. Lately I am more appreciative of my life especially now that I have my boyfriend. He makes me really happy and I do feel lucky to have found this person. So because of my more recent appreciation of what I feel lucky to have (love) I haven’t been as envious of others.

18. Knowing there is always room to grow and improve and reaching out for help.
✅ 
Yes, always room to grow and improve until your last breath. I have been reaching out for help more too. 

19. Having humility and laughing at yourself.
 This one. Absolutely need to work on this. Relates to a previous point… need to stop taking things personally. Let it go, laugh, have fun.

20. Recognizing that which does not work in your life and making an effort to do something different.
 I put an ‘X’ here since this one is a work in progress for me. I am currently trying to make changes to myself. For now, just mental changes but eventually I want to make physical changes as well.

21. Passing up instant gratification in favor of long term benefits.
✅ 
I do appreciate long term benefits over short term ones. I do try to consider the long term consequences of my actions.

22. Accepting, liking, and loving yourself, not needing someone else to “complete” you.
 Well I do not feel a need for someone else to complete me. However I do need to start accepting, liking, and loving myself more. I do feel I have improved on that a little bit.

23. Standing up for fairness and justice for yourself and others and choosing to do the right thing.
 I am too passive. Need to speak up more.

24. Making sacrifices for the good of others without resentment.
 For the most part I think I have this one down. Not perfect at it though. There have definitely been times where I have gotten fed up with someone if I feel I am the only one making an effort and resent them for it.

25. Not clinging to materialistic items or bragging.
✅ 
I can’t deny my love for some of my possessions but I am not attached to anything material. I don’t brag.

SO there is the list. I hope it is at least a bit eye opening for you as it was for me. There are other lists out there with different points but I felt this one has a lot that I need to work on which is why I chose it to reflect on.

xxx

bruce lee