Stop blaming others.

Want to feel better? Then make it happen. Sitting around complaining and blaming others will only make you feel worse. And if it somehow makes you feel better, know that any pleasure gained from placing blame elsewhere is temporary and is not productive.

Even if your negative emotions/reaction to another’s negative behavior is justified YOU must make the choice to not let that negativity stay within you. It will slowly destroy you.

Own up to the responsibility of taking care of yourself. It won’t be easy but anything of any value to growth will never be easy. That is just how it works. That is why we tend to blame too…because it is easy. Well guess what, the easy way is usually the wrong way!

You can do it, take up the challenge and go the right way… start growing! ♡

❀☯❀

One of the great aspects of life I am experiencing these days is how negative experiences can lead to positive outcomes. I have always been intrigued with the idea of the balance of light and dark in life, but now I am experiencing and appreciating it.

It started with the change in my self esteem. The spark that ignited this change was being bullied, threatened, and harassed last year. While it hurt at first I am extremely thankful now for this experience and I am not bothered by it any longer. I had never been bullied before so it was a good eye-opener for me, a reality check, a much needed one. It was a small experience but it was enough to teach me a lesson. I realized that the person said these things to me because they saw in me what I didn’t. It was only after this realization that I began to feel more comfortable in my body and gained confidence overall. I started to show off my “skinny dumb bitch” “clown” “failure as a human being” “insecure and pathetic” self. The irony of picking on others for their insecurities is that it reveals your own.

More stressful events followed up until recently. One of the positive outcomes that has come from them is that I am a lot stronger mentally and continue to improve on handling negative situations in a more productive manner. I still relapse and temporarily allow a negative situation to get to me sometimes but I am able to recover much more quickly. I try to look at the situation from a learning perspective.

I’ve cut down significantly on consuming things that are not good for my health. Some things I have stopped consuming completely.

All of what has happened to me, good and bad, has lead me to finally come up with goals and ideas of what I’d like to do with my life. For so long, and what has troubled me deeply is not having any direction and goals and not finding my place. Thanks to recent events I have goals and opportunities to pursue these goals have presented themselves. I won’t share too many details now but just know, if you feel you are in a rut, that life has a way of balancing itself out. Don’t give up.

Like my ma says: It will all work out in the wash.

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Positive Affirmations

I’ve recently become interested in using positive affirmations to overwrite my negative thought patterns. When it comes to using affirmations you have to use ones that are believable to yourself as well as making actual changes to your lifestyle and make goals to work towards. Just saying the affirmations is, of course, not enough. Affirmations need to be true to you in order for them to work. Introspection with every affirmation is needed. Here is a list I have created for myself:

❈ I am trying to be in control of my reactions.

❈ I have the power to change myself and I have been changing myself.

❈ My body is filled with energy, I can feel it.

❈ Everything will be okay.

❈ I believe in myself, I have potential.

❈ I am proud of myself for changing and continuing to do so.

❈ Every day is a fresh start. If I have a bad day it’s okay, it happens, tomorrow I will try again.

❈ I am grateful for my life and for the gift of being alive.

❈ My partner and I have fun together.

❈ I want the best for my partner.

❈ I am trying to live in the present, rather than being stuck in the past or worried about the future.

❈ I am trying to accept and embrace all experiences, including unpleasant ones which provide me with life lessons.

❈ I am ready for new opportunities.

❈ I am trying to be superior to negative thoughts and low actions.

❈ I trust that I am on the right path and moving in the right direction.

❈ I am growing into the person I am meant to be.

❈ I forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.

❈ I am excited for the future.

❈ I am ready for the next chapter in my life. I am ready to grow, learn, and for new experiences.

❈ I am putting in effort to make myself happy.

❈ I am focusing on the positive things in my life. Instead of dwelling on the negative things I am trying to see them from a different perspective.

❈ I understand that great things take time.

What is your opinion on affirmations? Do you use them?

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Little Update

 

Lately I’ve been feeling very good. More at peace. I have been focusing more on the care of my plants and have expanded my plant family. I am also buying them as gifts for friends and family. I have enough now to keep me busy. Every evening is spent touching, looking and caring for them. I bought a grow light yesterday. There hasn’t been a lot of direct sun where I am lately. My plants seem to be doing fine but I want to make sure they get the light they need.

I am just living my life one day at a time. I feel this is the best approach for me. I still get stressed and upset from time to time, but I am human after all, I am just dealing with these moments a bit better. I am nowhere near as self-destructive as I used to be. The days spent in bed doing nothing are behind me.

I’ve learned a lot in the past couple of years. It’s amazing how just having a few stones thrown at you can toughen you up and make you stronger. I could let them weigh me down but I choose not to. I still have a long way to go as far as being the best I can be but at least now I am moving forward even if it is slow.

Despite acquiring quite a bit of acne lately (McDonalds, oops); I am more confident in my appearance than I’ve ever been. No I’m not perfect and yes there are things I still don’t like but I have accepted my body as my own finally. For the first time in my life this summer I wore a tight fitted dress with most of my arms and legs exposed, also without a push-up bra (Last year I stopped wearing mine, I am not against them at all but decided to embrace my small size). That may seem like nothing but it was a big deal for me.

Also my hair is growing out and I haven’t dyed it yet! I am my natural blonde right now and I love it. I’ve been dying my hair different colors(usually bright colors) for probably about 15 years so this is an interesting change for me.

I didn’t post on this blog as much as I had planned to this year but thanks to those who are still following! 🙂

 

The past called and told me to tell you to get the fuck over it!!

Something us past dwellers need to read.

Stop complaining about the past and move the fuck on!

Life is short, live in the present and look forward to the future.

🖤

One of my favorites.

Some people think it is the quantity they have that makes them whole and enriched, but it is instead the quality of what you have that does.

It’s better to have a few exceptional things, traits, friends, experiences, etc. than to have a large amount of average.

As Al Capone said of friends:
“Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.”

Treat Yourself

Treat yourself to gifts, dates and adventures.

Don’t wait on people to these with or for you.

They say you spend a third of your life sleeping, well I’m pretty sure I’ve spent another third just on waiting on others and at least half of the time it was for nothing. That is what it feels like. It’s been like that for as long as I can remember. Different people over the years. It’s something I’ve been resentful about for a long time for the time wasted and feeling let down. Now, I am trying to let go and just enjoy life.

-Lone Sagitarrius

💛🌺