As those of you who know me and whoever has read this blog know I am trying to make productive changes in my life.
Recently I got a gym membership, a new tattoo, my boyfriend gave me a beautiful ring, and I shaved off my hair! All symbols of self improvement, a new beginning, & love.
I have tried to start fresh many times and have relapsed each time so far. I do expect to have my days where I feel bad and don’t eat as much, it has already happened, but I intend to not let those days keep me down. This time is the first time I am going to the gym. This will make a difference. I was nervous at first but my boyfriend has been going with me and showing me the ropes! It’s actually kinda fun 🙂
I am trying to visualize myself heavier and I keep a bathing suit up on the wall for me to see everyday so that I am reminded of my weight gain goal. It would be a dream come true to be able to be comfortable enough in my body to wear a swimsuit! The last time I was in a swimsuit was when I was 13 years old, I am now 27!
I have gained a couple of pounds in the last couple of weeks. However, in the past few days I worked more and ate less. My mood shifted in the negative as well. It has been very dark and rainy too and my thoughts began to match the weather. Tonight I am doing laundry and waiting for my friend from out of town to arrive. I just ordered a pizza. I will take some Apetamin, a vitamin syrup that helps stimulate an appetite and slows down your metabolism, and eat as much as I can.
We may not always see it but the sun is always shining.
Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback on my posts so far!
I was browsing Pinterest and came across this image:
Source of Image
These 8 factors were found during a study on happiness by Duke University.
I find these factors quite useful for self reflection and felt a need to share!
Personal take on these factors:
The absence of suspicion and resentment. I hold grudges for years. Time to let go! This is a big one for me and will most likely take a while for me to master it.
Not living in the past. I spend too much time in the past. So much time wasted that could instead be spent in the present and planning for the future.
Not wasting time and energy fighting conditions you cannot change. Yes… Go with the flow, man.
Force yourself to stay involved with the living world. Yes when I am unhappy I curl into a ball in bed and don’t eat or want to speak to anyone. The last few times I felt down I watched educational and thought provoking videos on YouTube instead. Now that is nice out I will go for more walks!
Refuse to indulge in self-pity. Hmm.. self-pity. I don’t really pity myself. I am aware that I am lucky to have a roof over my head, food to eat and family and friends that love me. Instead of self-pity I have had a bad habit of just insulting myself for letting negative feelings take over and for wasting so much time being stuck instead of being productive. I’m looking at the definition of self pity and I don’t think it is the same thing. I am aware that I am fortunate and I don’t pity myself. I’ve just been angry and annoyed with myself.
Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues–love, humor, compassion and loyalty. Yes I will continue to improve on them as well as other virtues; assertiveness, confidence, courage, creativity, peacefulness, purposefulness, responsibility, and self-discipline. I’m overall trying to work on becoming a more virtuous individual.
Do not expect too much of yourself. Yes, this one will be important when I go back to school in the Fall. I am too hard on myself if I don’t get an A.
Find something bigger than yourself to believe in. I have some ideas but I will have to think about this one some more. 🙂